Object Relations Theory and the Mom Factor

Object Relations Theory and the Mom Factor Phobias Causes Print Object Relations Theory and the Mom Factor By Lisa Fritscher Lisa Fritscher is a freelance writer and editor with a deep interest in phobias and other mental health topics. Learn about our editorial policy Lisa Fritscher Medically reviewed by Medically reviewed by Steven Gans, MD on August 05, 2016 Steven Gans, MD is board-certified in psychiatry and is an active supervisor, teacher, and mentor at Massachusetts General Hospital. Learn about our Medical Review Board Steven Gans, MD Updated on August 13, 2019 Getty Images / Images by Tang Ming Tung More in Phobias Causes Symptoms and Diagnosis Treatment Types Object relations theory is centered on our relationships with others. According to this theory, our lifelong relationship skills are strongly rooted in our early attachments with our parents, especially our mothers. Objects refer to people, parts of people, or physical items that symbolically represent either a person or part of a person. Object relations, then, are our relationships to those people or items. We explore how you are affected and what your relationship with your mother may say about your future in relationships. An offshoot of Freudian psychoanalytic theory, object relations theory developed during the late 1920s and 1930s  and became extremely popular during the 1970s. Karl Abraham, Margaret Mahler, and Melanie Klein are among those credited with its origination and refinement. Object relations theory is sometimes used in the treatment of phobias, particularly those that focus on people, or our relationships with them. External and Internal Objects An external object is an actual person or thing that someone invests in with emotional energy. A whole object is a person as she actually exists, with all of the positive and negative traits that she embodies. If we successfully move through the stages of development, we are able to relate to others more as a whole and as they truly are. An internal object is our psychological and emotional impression of a person. It is the representation that we hold onto when the person is not physically there, and it influences how we view the person in real life. Consequently, the internal object greatly impacts our relationship with the person that it represents. Different Attachment Styles Object Constancy Object constancy is the ability to recognize that objects do not change simply because we do not see them. Infants begin to learn object constancy when their parents leave for a short time and then return. As children mature, they begin to spend longer periods of time away from their parents. Separation anxiety and fear of abandonment are common in people who have not successfully developed a sense of object constancy. The Mom Factor: Piecing It All Together According to the object relations theory, the way mothers and infants interact plays a crucial role in infant growth and development. If care is adequate or good enough, children are able to develop their true selves, which is the part of the baby that is creative and spontaneous. If the care is inadequate, children create a false self or one that is playing to the needs of others and is based on compliance with others expectations, instead of the childs self. Over time, acceptable parental care that will create the true self includes the following stages: Holding - actual physical affection and holding including cuddling, holding hands, or lap sitting is familiar and regular behavior in satisfactory parental care.Mother and infant living together - experiencing the daily routine of both psychological and physical care such as eating, grooming and interacting through mundane tasks is important for babys proper development.Father, mother and infant, all three living together - as the child grows into relative dependence and later into independence, the importance of witnessing the interaction of the mother and father is essential to teaching the child relational care outside of ones self which they observe between the father and mother. Object relations theory holds that a chink in any of these important steps can cause issues in developing relationships later in life.